Tuesday, 4 September 2012

Practised re crafting Aldora's paragraph

Today we re-crafting a piece of writing. the first paragraph belongs to Aldora the second is mine.

“On your marks, get set, “Bang” shouted Mr Burt. Off we went trying hard not to bang into each other. I was already muddy. Luckily I didn’t slip like some other girls did at the start line.

“On your marks, get set!’’ Bang! off we went, trying hard not to  bump into each other. Mud was everywhere, all over my face and covering my shoes. Watching my friends fall over, I was laughing very loud!

1 comment:

  1. Hi Asena,
    I love how you worked had on trying to think of better sentence beginnings.I like how you put or sorts of speech marks and other symbols too.I also like how you try to make people understand you sentences.